It's almost never a good thing when your phone rings before 8am. This morning my home phone rang at about quarter to eight and I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the cell phone number. But it was a local number, and you never know, so I answered. It was Naomi from SEAS, the church I used to belong to. I haven't really gone to SEAS in ten years. She told me that Steve had had a heart attack and died. She told me she was sorry. I thanked her for calling.

Steve Adkins was my drummer. I used to play at Mass at SEAS with Steve, and we also played in a garage band together. Most of our "gigs" were at the church. They mostly were at the annual church fair, which just so happens to be going on today.

Bands are funny things. They have chemistry, or not. If they don't, they're just work. If they do, they're a lot of fun. Chemistry and fun don't necessarily make the band good or bad. But they change your enjoyment, which often makes even bands that aren't technically that good fun to watch. That's where we lived. We weren't bad (usually), but we weren't that good. But we had fun.

I play the bass. I've played with a number of drummers. I haven't played with Steve in probably eight or ten years. He moved away to West Virginia (last I heard). Haven't seen Steve in probably two years. But he's still my drummer. We stayed in the back and did rhythm. He was a good guy, and we understood each other. I was a better bass player when Steve was the drummer.

So after Naomi called, I sat down in the chair in my room and thoughts ran through my head like water pouring from a downspout. I thought about death, about life, about Steve, about time, about dreams, about health, about love. Then I went to Kohl's for the early-bird specials.

The iPod in my car is set to random. When I turned on the music on my way home from the store, Tumbling Dice started to play. That was our garage band; we did some recordings shortly before Tom moved away and the band had to reinvent itself. I started to cry as I listened to the band and realized that my drummer had died.

Love you, Steve. May perpetual Light shine upon you.