Here's some Catholic mumbo-jumbo about the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary. This does not refer to the conception of Jesus in the womb of Mary without the help of a human father (that would be the Virgin Birth), but rather to the conception of Mary in the womb of her mother, St. Ann, without the Stain of Original Sin on her soul. So what is that all about? Well, due to the sin of Adam and Eve, we all got kicked out of the Garden of Eden, and so now we are all born with the Stain of Original Sin. At the Sacrament of Baptism we receive Sanctifying Grace which blots out the Stain of Original Sin, and makes our souls Clorox-bleach white and without stain. What Christian could argue with any of that? That's the way Sister Mary Hammerheadshark explained it to me in the first grade, so it must be true.

You know what... it's pretty accurate. It's been isolated, condensed, re-fried, re-packaged, and purified, but within its own context, it does represent a truth.

Okay, I was a theology major, but I must admit that a lot of the magical inventionalism of this kind of talk is the fault of theology. You get a bunch of academic types together and they make up a lot of jargon so that they can talk to each other without having to always define what they mean by a certain term. The terms are narrowly defined and understood so that misunderstandings are avoided. But then the words flow back from academia to the general populous and everyone goes, "Huh?"

Let's start with Grace (that's the optimal position). There are two types of grace, Sanctifying Grace and Actual Grace. Sanctifying Grace refers to the relationship that you have with God. Actual Grace refers to those moments and actions of God in your life, God reaching out to you, your own personal Heilsgeschichte. The more Sanctifying Grace that you have (the better your relationship with God) the easier it is for God to let you help Him inflict Actual Grace on those most in need. If you don't have Sanctifying Grace (no relationship with God), then God has to get help for you, and the more of His friends He can get to help Him, the happier He is. So if I have no Sanctifying Grace, I am in the state of Sin. If I have broken off my relationship with God, I have sinned and lost my Sanctifying Grace. (Then I need to go to Confession to get some more Sanctifying Grace (mend my broken relationship with God), but that is another essay...)

When God created man and woman, he wanted to be in relationship with them, and indeed He was. But then man and woman broke off that relationship, ignored God, wanted to do what they wanted. God doesn't force you to love Him, so the relationship was broken. But now when you're born, you're no longer in a relationship with God -- you have... the Stain of Original Sin. So you need to be Baptized to get some Sanctifying Grace to blot out the Stain of Original Sin (you need to begin your relationship with God).

Well, when God created Mary to be the mother of Jesus, He knew what He was doing. This woman was to be the instrument through whom He would send His Son into the world. So from the moment of her conception, God had a relationship with this woman. Thus she was conceived without sin (already had a relationship with God), avoided the Stain of Original Sin (ditto), and there you have the Immaculate Conception.